Trying to hold back, to find out how to express this
The integrity at 19 to lead a woman feels like a checklist
Viewing it that way has got me collapsed because all the boxes are empty
And sometimes I see an X inked in the list
Like they'll never accept me
God, do you expect me to live life like a ton of bricks?
I'm ill equipped, and the page is ripped, I carry it along with me in every relationship
That could be so much more but I choose to pretend like it's so much more
Girl you are meant for so much more
And you are worth so much more
You don't deserve the way I've treated
The way you've been objectified does not define your meanin'
I'm sorry but in this season I'm not the one you should be leanin'
Crying all night
It's not for attention while I'm stressin'
The impact of my current state
Had left a big impression on my joy
Some I see in love because of the same emptiness
I can't bring happiness to myself by myself either,
Love...I guess It can't always bring us together
You telling me this isn't right
I'm telling you it's hard to fight
You telling me I know we tight
I just need to be alone tonight
I want to
Rock-a-bye baby in the tree top
Rock-a-bye baby in the tree top
Take a climb on the branches of my family tree
Thin, dead wood all I see when it comes to me
They say what to do when the women come through
Love
I guess it depends on how you define love
Because my love is ever failing compared to the love above who is never failing
So them severed feelings, heart breaks must have come from my love, because when I say "I love you",
It can be a selfish way of affection
We've created a game out of a phrase, like Apples to Apples, I play on words
And I've been stepping on these cards for days
From here the only question to ask is, “Are you ready?”
It seems there's a celebration of my failure
Birthday caked up in confetti
So I've determined I'm probably not ready
It's hard to face the responsibility
Supporting a family it seems so heavy
So if and when I fall in love the goal will be to marry
I'm on a narrow path that even on my own I'm not strong enough to carry
Where this path is headed
I will not know until I'm looking back at it with no regrets because my God has set it
I can tell I’ll want a woman in my life, someone to complete me
But for now I think I'll rest in the one who satisfies completely
What they say, or may say, don't let it get to me
Back when I could forget, all of this
I feel like no one can understand me
I feel like no one can ever stand me
Can you hear the self afflicting lies?
Sob story when he cries?
I'm consumed with myself, I can't even open my eyes to what's right in front of me
However, I've seen Him reach into my life and light my current state
That ton of bricks has been lifted along with the boxes and the crates
I praise The Lord that I'm content and I can finally lay back
It's taken more time and tears then you know for me to truthfully say that
When it all rots away my family tree consists of the cross of Christ,
The root of all my life
The blood of Jesus is the love the of my family tree
The sin that it washed way is only reason there's any hope for me
Deniro Farrar heads the list of guest MCs on this BK Beats & Black Noi$e release by Crash Symbols & Potholes Music. Bandcamp New & Notable Mar 25, 2014