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Remembering to Forget [2014]

by isicle

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1.
I feel the negative degrees as my finger prints are pressed against the window pane Degrees of struggle as my peers fear weather and I hear the pain I'm physically separated, negated outside vision faded The warmth of grace comforts me How could they have hated the fire and trade it This is where I call home Where I reside by the fire I abide You can feel the chills in the dark corners of the house it hides The frost sweats cold liquid water on the window sill it lays Only a taste of the freezing temperature, outside on the glass it's glazed Yet my hand grips the handle leading into the storm My perceived intentions were to bring others in, but I had on nothing warm Confident, smirked as I laughed The door slammed shut to my back The blizzard was beckoning me to get lost in the hand at task As I stepped outside, the wind knocked the air right out of my lungs A forceful gust took me over, now look what I've become I see you, years have past and you are miles away from home The prodigal tale became so real now that I am on my own The warmth from the castle is seen afar from the chimney smoke it's spotted, ah a place to abide Frost bitten and tattered they search for a way inside “Surely the gate is closed,” they say, “we will have to climb, that's the only way” Neglecting to notice the gate open the entire day The door is unlocked, I watch from the window sill As my heart it breaks But what can I do but relate in the past in present with the same mistakes I thought I knew you, I mutter under my breath I thought knew you, now the memory knowing is my one regret Remembering to forget I try my best not to think about what I've turned into Childlike faith has lost it's place after what I've been through What will the future bring? I think about it nightly Already it seems though I don't have a clue it holds I grip so tightly Thoughts of who I might be Who I will share life with I feel as if my life is hanging and will change with any motion or a shift I know I'm not the only one with sleepless nights when you can't lay still Wide awake I think about it all from this window sill
2.
Thought. A word I would like break down to the core Misguided, I tried it, invited I was knocked down to the floor Real, it's so hard to find Real, its so hard to define I thought I had it all figured out until I'm staring from this window sill It's fact, I did that Life pulled a punch I hit back Self control, I never been with that Life is short, don't kid with that I can't tell you what I wanna be From the past I've learned Just start from what's in front me We all been down Sprouted up from this town I feel a failure, I tried to tell you I'm crying out now please be found I thought I knew you In the past months I've sit back Broken heart I fit that Remembering to forget Moments I wish I could get back I thought I knew you
3.
Hello 03:54
We all been down Sprouted from this town I feel the failure I tried to tell you Hello, be aware we departed Blast off, since we started Working on this record for a while Putting in the time reaching out my style Surround pound round sound rich it's a fortune Dressed to compress style waves of distortion Poetry in motion, real art has arrived Hand on the pad, drum kits revived
4.
We already know how it ends When human kind tends to look at life hazily through a glass, cracked lens An imprecise device, known as influence In fact the impactful trends will most likely come from our friends to make amends Ah, it'll be ok if it sends, 'cause we know how the text ends They are letters typed onto a screen without looking into the eyes of one whose heart has a cracked lens I mean, it depends We already know how it ends Imagine a match lit to one blade of grass in a dry field The prairie turns black with smoke The fire quickly becomes too raging to wield From the beginning the fate was sealed We already know if Tom cruise is cast in a movie, there will be multiple scenes of him running If Robin Hood stretches his bow, his target will be hit We already know MC Hammer will never quit We already know that will never end til he becomes unlegit But we still keep those glasses on We still send that text message We still go see that movie with Tom Cruise in it We are still amazed as Robin Hood hits bulls eye We already know how it ends He fits the description Young man looking for love and respect, the pity party edition The sick addiction only leads to affliction Snapshots left in his brain that leave a deep inscription We already know what happens to a girl When her insecurities and pain become all she can see in the world It takes one night, or one knife, overbearing fright, despite what's true and right She thinks of herself as plastic, black and white, just one roll of the dice We already know when Jesus knelt, the distress was felt As his body undressed itself of blood from the burden of sin Wrath was dealt, so I didn't have to die myself So everyday I die to myself. I try...or do I? We all know how it ends. The cross of Christ, A.K.A. the weight of humanity God had a plan for me He knew the beginning and end because that's what defines Him It also divines Him, three in one never divides Him This is my son who I am well pleased, who died, and it prides Him We already know how it ends When you put the Christ in a grave with stone you couldn't even find Mick Jagger rolling over There's not a chance, so good luck, here's a four leaf clover In case you didn't know, need reminded, or are running from it, he rose from the tomb, and it's not over We already know how ends, but how it really ends A broken bride of Christ awaits that one day we can finally look into the eyes of Christ And be assured it's alright, He's coming again We already know how it ends We already know how it ends Because from five years of age The flannel graph Jesus has shown us His ways “Raised in a Christian home” The start of every testimony it seems in this city But if it's a flannel physically, and that only It will quickly rip by the seams and it won't be pretty See, we already know how it ends But we choose to leave it at that It’s fact that refusing to make this redemptive hope our own Is a clear sign of why our life has run dry to the bone Why we feel in need of love and alone
5.
Trying to hold back, to find out how to express this The integrity at 19 to lead a woman feels like a checklist Viewing it that way has got me collapsed because all the boxes are empty And sometimes I see an X inked in the list Like they'll never accept me God, do you expect me to live life like a ton of bricks? I'm ill equipped, and the page is ripped, I carry it along with me in every relationship That could be so much more but I choose to pretend like it's so much more Girl you are meant for so much more And you are worth so much more You don't deserve the way I've treated The way you've been objectified does not define your meanin' I'm sorry but in this season I'm not the one you should be leanin' Crying all night It's not for attention while I'm stressin' The impact of my current state Had left a big impression on my joy Some I see in love because of the same emptiness I can't bring happiness to myself by myself either, Love...I guess It can't always bring us together You telling me this isn't right I'm telling you it's hard to fight You telling me I know we tight I just need to be alone tonight I want to Rock-a-bye baby in the tree top Rock-a-bye baby in the tree top Take a climb on the branches of my family tree Thin, dead wood all I see when it comes to me They say what to do when the women come through Love I guess it depends on how you define love Because my love is ever failing compared to the love above who is never failing So them severed feelings, heart breaks must have come from my love, because when I say "I love you", It can be a selfish way of affection We've created a game out of a phrase, like Apples to Apples, I play on words And I've been stepping on these cards for days From here the only question to ask is, “Are you ready?” It seems there's a celebration of my failure Birthday caked up in confetti So I've determined I'm probably not ready It's hard to face the responsibility Supporting a family it seems so heavy So if and when I fall in love the goal will be to marry I'm on a narrow path that even on my own I'm not strong enough to carry Where this path is headed I will not know until I'm looking back at it with no regrets because my God has set it I can tell I’ll want a woman in my life, someone to complete me But for now I think I'll rest in the one who satisfies completely What they say, or may say, don't let it get to me Back when I could forget, all of this I feel like no one can understand me I feel like no one can ever stand me Can you hear the self afflicting lies? Sob story when he cries? I'm consumed with myself, I can't even open my eyes to what's right in front of me However, I've seen Him reach into my life and light my current state That ton of bricks has been lifted along with the boxes and the crates I praise The Lord that I'm content and I can finally lay back It's taken more time and tears then you know for me to truthfully say that When it all rots away my family tree consists of the cross of Christ, The root of all my life The blood of Jesus is the love the of my family tree The sin that it washed way is only reason there's any hope for me
6.
The immense connotations held within the five letters of “truth” have affected me since my first sleepover. As a young girl playing “Truth or Dare”, I always chose truth, which typically meant having to tell of a secret crush. Little did I know the further implications that holding to the truth would have. I have learned the scarcity of finding total truth. The world is full of words and images that appear to be truth, but a single speck of fiction corrupts the entirety of fact. Comparably, darkness is the absence of light. If a lone beam of light penetrates that darkness, it is no longer fully dark. Just as darkness cannot exist in the presence of light, veracity cannot exist in the presence of falsehood. The sincerity that truth implies is why this word stands out amongst the countless words in several languages I know. Clinging to the truth allows no room for fallacy, and for this reason, truth provides guidance that cannot be found just anywhere. The greatest truth is that genuine truth is rare and must be sought after; however, this is not at all restrictive. There is great freedom found in truth because there are no chains or webs of lies that strangle away life. By beginning to value this truth and freedom, I have been given direction on a path that is narrow, but still wide enough for me to live doing what I love while within the provisions of truth. First we find the lies Then we idolize Next we finalize Last we find demise I hope you have something to stand on They'll tear you apart See I never looked to see what was behind those eyes It turned out to be a lie tied in disguise A fool I was and still continue to become As I keep believing the deceitful words from The hearts of others and my own I thought that I was grown Now stumbling off I see it's a long way back home But the long journey years becomes weeks, weeks become a day I can feel the truth inside me instantly lighting the way I can feel the switch as the words of the Almighty stick into my brain sweep into my heart Because in the beginning was the Word, and for me That's where I find truth The base of my life, the biggest part I find myself searching, shopping, He says to me, “You may be confident now But I see your heart's cart and it's empty.” He fills the deepest voids painting a picture in my heart The universe's only piece of art, that's perfect
7.
In the beginning without shape and void The Lord in His majesty raised His voice The Earth took form, the stars took their place And He infinitely stood outside of time and space But then, as the beasts were raised, and the birds took flight God stepped down into our world with a twinkling eye He breathed life into Adam, created Eve from his side And with the very same breath He gave them, they tore creation with pride New gods, kings of hip hop, there ain't nothing new We spit on God's creation as we tear it in two Like a kid with crayons we praise our refrigerator masterpiece Living out of pride, without knowing the Master's peace How far have we fallen, how much will we damage Before we realize that we are the stain on the canvas? Christ makes us white, only scribbles we could manage And the pain is the paint that brings beauty to the madness! All eyes on me, and I know I don't make sense Because I'm walking the scripture, and I ain't riding the fence I hope they know my point isn't to cause offense But I refuse to zip my lip knowing Hell exists I'm sick of stringing excuses, I'm sick of wasting my time Lord let me display Your craft, pour Your blood across my life Through the cross I plead, through this life Lord, lead Paint Your blood over my idols Lord You're all I need! Paint it like you see it Write it like you read Take it like you treat it Say it like you mean it Paint it like you see it Write it like you read it Cry like you need it, reflection of perfection Treasure his complexion, let it create a deep impression Black market, we are the target Selling lies, walking down the red carpet Hello, Hollywood, sexual satisfaction at it's finest Look around we're bowing down, your highness Trash that art, it's garbage Past the heart it's cartilage Fire in the bones Arms length keep the yardage Let the divine lion roar come through your tweets My media socializing art, hello, it's nice to meet Art that's a blessing, quality that's refreshing A track out there for those who struggle with depression Art imperfection, stop the misconception The body is a broken mirror glory in reflection Music in the blood, word on the brain Christ in my heart, bass pumpin' through my veins Revelu, that's the army Off bass please alarm me Unharmed, alarmed, fresh from the farm, I grow beets equipped to arm me, charming
8.
Revelu, all the broken hearts with pity Relate to me, start a spark in this city We all got our past-stained canvas Let Christ ignite the state, city, and the campus Cracked jars, life scars Light shines in like a jail cell, bars Faith ain't faith when they shake it up Truth aside they'll say you made up I ain't talking 'bout revoke without a cause I ain't talking 'bout fulfillment from applause Believer, just pause Take a look at the gospel, good comes from the flaws Basic, He erased it We're nothing good on our own, face it Divine truth please chase it This the revolution 'til the end of my days kid Me and my crew broken a clay pots for Christ to shine through, What it do, boy, that's the rally All across the earth Australia to Cali Revelu, not about me not about you Sky's no limit matter fact it's looking blue Glow the dark with imperfect art They say start fire, but there gotta spark Revelu, gotta get it going verse two I put the beat down black and blue Purity, it's hard work When the opposite of everything that is true is at lurk You're on a Star Trek. No Captain Kirk On a never ending search leave her hurt, vigil Heart after heart that's the art You start looking for a perfect individual There's no where to end The texts that you send broken hearts Look 'em in the eye through a different lens We got to come down All we want in life, queen and king with the crown Prince on a horse, find a sleeping beauty Love 'em on the outside, "Man they a cutie" Watch your motive, get gassed locomotive You for long run? That's a load of Love is beautiful, so true But the revolution stops when you make it 'bout you.
9.
Moment of surprise when I got the letter in My mind at the time was to let her in It was all a dream though God, give me strength when I wake, let me breathe slow Call it how I see it Is she it? Worry 'bout myself is how I treat it Left in the cold, not the only one freezin' Fire shine bright, I saw it, imma be it Fire, get a lighter, fist in the air Desire get the bridge going down I swear When you burn a bridge ashes remain I wanna blow it up, get rid of the stain It's the pain, I don't want to cross back Burden on the bridge with the TNT stacks Blasts, celebration of my new life Pray I do right tonight I'm burnin’ bridges and no one's gonna stop me now These decisions only seem to stop and slow me down I need to blow up I need to blow up I feel like I never want to walk away But I need a new start today Burnin' bridges ain't enough for me I need blow 'em up Parallel lines in my mind Love story seems changed every time One of a kind, hard to define Bridge blown but I say I'm just fine Insane on the inside I died, try to keep memories alive I'm outsane on the outside Deprived, when you take another from my side
10.
I'm runnin' right now, block it out I don't want to hear this town Half of me gone to doubt This one thing inside me says keep it all in If your pressed, stress let it all go Man down it's about to blow so Don't get me started Still living for the bridges I've blown Thought I could do this all alone Now old love is calling me home It was a mistake once again Messed up big once again Forget all that drama, I'm all that much stronger Battle my brain my heart won again Now that I crossed that bridge I want to go back to the life I lived Said I would never but despite that I did Sent me a letter I replied as a kid who understands the way of truth Didn't want to let it play out in his youth This is proof I want to go off in a spacecraft without those around me In love with the ties of those that bound me Learning to fly without folks surround me And those who found me when I fell Are dropping like flies, oh well It's hard to find that real Thought I was made of steel 'til now Don't get me started Don't get me started 'Til my past has parted I'm raising my flag I'm gone Bring me home If you don't I'll find a way Remembering to forget Trample these seeds that I've sown Times that I recall, those days and nights Remembering to forget, it makes it bite Times that I recall, those days and nights Remembering to forget, it makes it bite to make it by
11.
I had to catch my breath when waking up from what I dreamt A nightmare I tried to escape with only failed attempts Maybe it was paradise this place that I was living When all was love, no exchange, freely given When they said I love you, they meant the words They didn't back out, shut the door so hard it smashed fingers Smashed their feelings, heck, but doesn't this sound absurd? It sounds phenomenal but I can hear reality linger Why would I be placed on this alternate of earth? Or is this even a planet somewhere in the universe? I feel dispersed like I don't know the direction of my home This relaxation is soul-less, I feel mechanical like a drone Now I'm alone, black out of time Lost all of it's senses Transported to another world where the colors have blended I'm extended, the clock ticks but my time frame is now shattered Commitment for a lifetime, promises gathered then tattered I find myself sitting in a field filled with fake flowers I could only assume because of the spotless way that they towered None devoured, when I picked a few without the soil of the ground they didn't even cower Here come the showers Drops of clear liquid sprinkled down from on high I laid back for second, let my breath go with a sigh But who am I to enjoy such a moment? A woman appears by my side so beautiful and she owns it The key to my heart right there strung right around her neck I reached for her hand's touch, then suddenly stumbled as I hit the deck I'm in a jail cell for sale that only my heart could unlock But I gave that it to the woman as the hand spins around the clock See, this commitment of love is the dream that I'm trapped in The reality of life's stress was so painful and it was taxing I'm asking, who's the greater man? Should I put on my mask again? A whole another world that I'm wrapped in It feels like I've just tapped in Times that I recall Pieces of my dreams seem hard to relate In these lost dreams, I feel a king Here we lost and found, feel it all go down Times that I recall Pieces of my dreams seem hard to relate In these lost dreams I feel a king Here we lost and found feel it all go down In this place I was so lost I had a dream and I got lost, so can you find me? I don't understand this around me Sat up in bed wiped the sweat off my forehead If only I could pick up the dream like a book and have it read It's like I had a television picture kept on moving but was that fuzz As if I were looking in a mirror and saw myself for who I was
12.
I'm in my minivan let me catch you up to speed Shout out to brother who sold me the deed Lil' Dilly made the deal, advance to finals Didn't dilly dally, Bron Bron got my first title Sweating with no AC Roll them windows in the car son, daily Yeah it's hotter than Jamaica I'm the stencil maker Plus a black paint job, gave my girl some makeup On the freeway, right lane going 50 Now I'm in the middle lane pushing up to 60 At high speeds acceleration takes a minute Black and green honda swervin', you can't miss it Ah think I'm out of fuel, I can't get it started Remember not to pass the gas like somebody farted Battery runnin' low, ask a stranger for a jump Power charged turn the key, and the engine starts like Yeah, ups and downs on the county roads We seen it all, been through it all When the fog hits we can't see the road ahead We been through thick and thin speakers bumpin at that red light In my minivan Yeah, see her door's got its problems It slides off the track and disconnects from the bottom Someone shot my window, I'll get the screws Got that diamond plate, shoot it now I dare you Straight bangin' jams, out of my Honda Odyssey Rollin down these streets Bumping beats, it ain't odd to see 'Sicle roll through wit the crew dressed properly Octagon only sign raised that be stoppin' me (Turnup!) Squeaky breaks when I roll up When they they touch my tunes I tell that brotha “Hold up!” Death do us part, we both said “I do” But to be honest, she'll probably die before I do I make well with what's provided Monthly car payments is not what I've decided Instead, I'll take a mini van and afford what I can See me ridin' through, 116 that's the brand
13.
It's a Trap!

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released April 15, 2014

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