Remembering to Forget [2014]

by isicle

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released April 15, 2014

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Track Name: From the Window Sill
I feel the negative degrees as my finger prints are pressed against the window pane
Degrees of struggle as my peers fear weather and I hear the pain
I'm physically separated, negated outside vision faded
The warmth of grace comforts me
How could they have hated the fire and trade it

This is where I call home
Where I reside by the fire I abide
You can feel the chills in the dark corners of the house it hides
The frost sweats cold liquid water on the window sill it lays
Only a taste of the freezing temperature, outside on the glass it's glazed

Yet my hand grips the handle leading into the storm
My perceived intentions were to bring others in, but I had on nothing warm
Confident, smirked as I laughed
The door slammed shut to my back

The blizzard was beckoning me to get lost in the hand at task
As I stepped outside, the wind knocked the air right out of my lungs
A forceful gust took me over, now look what I've become
I see you, years have past and you are miles away from home
The prodigal tale became so real now that I am on my own

The warmth from the castle is seen afar from the chimney smoke it's spotted, ah a place to abide
Frost bitten and tattered they search for a way inside
“Surely the gate is closed,” they say, “we will have to climb, that's the only way”
Neglecting to notice the gate open the entire day

The door is unlocked, I watch from the window sill
As my heart it breaks
But what can I do but relate in the past in present with the same mistakes
I thought I knew you, I mutter under my breath
I thought knew you, now the memory knowing is my one regret

Remembering to forget
I try my best not to think about what I've turned into
Childlike faith has lost it's place after what I've been through
What will the future bring? I think about it nightly
Already it seems though I don't have a clue it holds I grip so tightly
Thoughts of who I might be
Who I will share life with
I feel as if my life is hanging and will change with any motion or a shift

I know I'm not the only one with sleepless nights when you can't lay still
Wide awake I think about it all from this window sill
Track Name: Remembering to Forget [ft. Rachel Turner]
Thought. A word I would like break down to the core
Misguided, I tried it, invited
I was knocked down to the floor
Real, it's so hard to find
Real, its so hard to define
I thought I had it all figured out until
I'm staring from this window sill

It's fact, I did that
Life pulled a punch I hit back
Self control, I never been with that
Life is short, don't kid with that

I can't tell you what I wanna be
From the past I've learned
Just start from what's in front me

We all been down
Sprouted up from this town
I feel a failure, I tried to tell you
I'm crying out now please be found

I thought I knew you

In the past months I've sit back
Broken heart I fit that
Remembering to forget
Moments I wish I could get back

I thought I knew you
Track Name: Hello
We all been down
Sprouted from this town
I feel the failure I tried to tell you

Hello, be aware we departed
Blast off, since we started
Working on this record for a while
Putting in the time reaching out my style

Surround pound round sound rich it's a fortune
Dressed to compress style waves of distortion
Poetry in motion, real art has arrived
Hand on the pad, drum kits revived
Track Name: We Already Know How It Ends
We already know how it ends
When human kind tends to look at life hazily through a glass, cracked lens
An imprecise device, known as influence
In fact the impactful trends will most likely come from our friends to make amends

Ah, it'll be ok if it sends, 'cause we know how the text ends
They are letters typed onto a screen without looking into the eyes of one whose heart has a cracked lens
I mean, it depends

We already know how it ends
Imagine a match lit to one blade of grass in a dry field
The prairie turns black with smoke
The fire quickly becomes too raging to wield
From the beginning the fate was sealed

We already know if Tom cruise is cast in a movie, there will be multiple scenes of him running
If Robin Hood stretches his bow, his target will be hit
We already know MC Hammer will never quit
We already know that will never end til he becomes unlegit

But we still keep those glasses on
We still send that text message
We still go see that movie with Tom Cruise in it
We are still amazed as Robin Hood hits bulls eye
We already know how it ends

He fits the description
Young man looking for love and respect, the pity party edition
The sick addiction only leads to affliction
Snapshots left in his brain that leave a deep inscription

We already know what happens to a girl
When her insecurities and pain become all she can see in the world
It takes one night, or one knife, overbearing fright, despite what's true and right
She thinks of herself as plastic, black and white, just one roll of the dice

We already know when Jesus knelt, the distress was felt
As his body undressed itself of blood from the burden of sin
Wrath was dealt, so I didn't have to die myself
So everyday I die to myself. I try...or do I?

We all know how it ends. The cross of Christ, A.K.A. the weight of humanity
God had a plan for me
He knew the beginning and end because that's what defines Him
It also divines Him, three in one never divides Him
This is my son who I am well pleased, who died, and it prides Him

We already know how it ends
When you put the Christ in a grave with stone you couldn't even find Mick Jagger rolling over
There's not a chance, so good luck, here's a four leaf clover
In case you didn't know, need reminded, or are running from it, he rose from the tomb, and it's not over

We already know how ends, but how it really ends
A broken bride of Christ awaits that one day we can finally look into the eyes of Christ
And be assured it's alright, He's coming again
We already know how it ends

We already know how it ends
Because from five years of age
The flannel graph Jesus has shown us His ways
“Raised in a Christian home”
The start of every testimony it seems in this city
But if it's a flannel physically, and that only
It will quickly rip by the seams and it won't be pretty

See, we already know how it ends
But we choose to leave it at that
It’s fact that refusing to make this redemptive hope our own
Is a clear sign of why our life has run dry to the bone
Why we feel in need of love and alone
Track Name: The Love of My Family Tree
Trying to hold back, to find out how to express this
The integrity at 19 to lead a woman feels like a checklist
Viewing it that way has got me collapsed because all the boxes are empty
And sometimes I see an X inked in the list
Like they'll never accept me

God, do you expect me to live life like a ton of bricks?
I'm ill equipped, and the page is ripped, I carry it along with me in every relationship
That could be so much more but I choose to pretend like it's so much more

Girl you are meant for so much more
And you are worth so much more
You don't deserve the way I've treated

The way you've been objectified does not define your meanin'
I'm sorry but in this season I'm not the one you should be leanin'
Crying all night
It's not for attention while I'm stressin'
The impact of my current state
Had left a big impression on my joy
Some I see in love because of the same emptiness
I can't bring happiness to myself by myself either,
Love...I guess It can't always bring us together

You telling me this isn't right
I'm telling you it's hard to fight
You telling me I know we tight
I just need to be alone tonight
I want to
Rock-a-bye baby in the tree top
Rock-a-bye baby in the tree top
Take a climb on the branches of my family tree
Thin, dead wood all I see when it comes to me

They say what to do when the women come through

Love
I guess it depends on how you define love
Because my love is ever failing compared to the love above who is never failing
So them severed feelings, heart breaks must have come from my love, because when I say "I love you",
It can be a selfish way of affection
We've created a game out of a phrase, like Apples to Apples, I play on words
And I've been stepping on these cards for days
From here the only question to ask is, “Are you ready?”
It seems there's a celebration of my failure
Birthday caked up in confetti

So I've determined I'm probably not ready
It's hard to face the responsibility
Supporting a family it seems so heavy
So if and when I fall in love the goal will be to marry
I'm on a narrow path that even on my own I'm not strong enough to carry
Where this path is headed
I will not know until I'm looking back at it with no regrets because my God has set it
I can tell I’ll want a woman in my life, someone to complete me
But for now I think I'll rest in the one who satisfies completely

What they say, or may say, don't let it get to me
Back when I could forget, all of this

I feel like no one can understand me
I feel like no one can ever stand me
Can you hear the self afflicting lies?
Sob story when he cries?
I'm consumed with myself, I can't even open my eyes to what's right in front of me
However, I've seen Him reach into my life and light my current state
That ton of bricks has been lifted along with the boxes and the crates
I praise The Lord that I'm content and I can finally lay back
It's taken more time and tears then you know for me to truthfully say that
When it all rots away my family tree consists of the cross of Christ,
The root of all my life
The blood of Jesus is the love the of my family tree
The sin that it washed way is only reason there's any hope for me
Track Name: #Truth [ft. Erin Halleran]
The immense connotations held within the five letters of “truth” have affected me since my first sleepover. As a young girl playing “Truth or Dare”, I always chose truth, which typically meant having to tell of a secret crush. Little did I know the further implications that holding to the truth would have. I have learned the scarcity of finding total truth. The world is full of words and images that appear to be truth, but a single speck of fiction corrupts the entirety of fact. Comparably, darkness is the absence of light. If a lone beam of light penetrates that darkness, it is no longer fully dark. Just as darkness cannot exist in the presence of light, veracity cannot exist in the presence of falsehood.

The sincerity that truth implies is why this word stands out amongst the countless words in several languages I know. Clinging to the truth allows no room for fallacy, and for this reason, truth provides guidance that cannot be found just anywhere. The greatest truth is that genuine truth is rare and must be sought after; however, this is not at all restrictive. There is great freedom found in truth because there are no chains or webs of lies that strangle away life. By beginning to value this truth and freedom, I have been given direction on a path that is narrow, but still wide enough for me to live doing what I love while within the provisions of truth.

First we find the lies
Then we idolize
Next we finalize
Last we find demise

I hope you have something to stand on
They'll tear you apart

See I never looked to see what was behind those eyes
It turned out to be a lie tied in disguise
A fool I was and still continue to become
As I keep believing the deceitful words from
The hearts of others and my own
I thought that I was grown
Now stumbling off I see it's a long way back home

But the long journey years becomes weeks, weeks become a day
I can feel the truth inside me instantly lighting the way
I can feel the switch as the words of the Almighty stick into my brain sweep into my heart
Because in the beginning was the Word, and for me
That's where I find truth
The base of my life, the biggest part

I find myself searching, shopping, He says to me, “You may be confident now
But I see your heart's cart and it's empty.”
He fills the deepest voids painting a picture in my heart
The universe's only piece of art, that's perfect
Track Name: Imperfect Art [ft. Mr. Whosoever & Rachel Turner]
In the beginning without shape and void
The Lord in His majesty raised His voice
The Earth took form, the stars took their place
And He infinitely stood outside of time and space

But then, as the beasts were raised, and the birds took flight
God stepped down into our world with a twinkling eye
He breathed life into Adam, created Eve from his side
And with the very same breath He gave them, they tore creation with pride

New gods, kings of hip hop, there ain't nothing new
We spit on God's creation as we tear it in two
Like a kid with crayons we praise our refrigerator masterpiece
Living out of pride, without knowing the Master's peace

How far have we fallen, how much will we damage
Before we realize that we are the stain on the canvas?
Christ makes us white, only scribbles we could manage
And the pain is the paint that brings beauty to the madness!

All eyes on me, and I know I don't make sense
Because I'm walking the scripture, and I ain't riding the fence
I hope they know my point isn't to cause offense
But I refuse to zip my lip knowing Hell exists

I'm sick of stringing excuses, I'm sick of wasting my time
Lord let me display Your craft, pour Your blood across my life
Through the cross I plead, through this life Lord, lead
Paint Your blood over my idols Lord You're all I need!

Paint it like you see it
Write it like you read
Take it like you treat it
Say it like you mean it

Paint it like you see it
Write it like you read it
Cry like you need it, reflection of perfection
Treasure his complexion, let it create a deep impression

Black market, we are the target
Selling lies, walking down the red carpet
Hello, Hollywood, sexual satisfaction at it's finest
Look around we're bowing down, your highness

Trash that art, it's garbage
Past the heart it's cartilage
Fire in the bones
Arms length keep the yardage

Let the divine lion roar come through your tweets
My media socializing art, hello, it's nice to meet
Art that's a blessing, quality that's refreshing
A track out there for those who struggle with depression

Art imperfection, stop the misconception
The body is a broken mirror glory in reflection
Music in the blood, word on the brain
Christ in my heart, bass pumpin' through my veins

Revelu, that's the army
Off bass please alarm me
Unharmed, alarmed, fresh from the farm,
I grow beets equipped to arm me, charming
Track Name: RevelU [ft. Phil Wing]
Revelu, all the broken hearts with pity
Relate to me, start a spark in this city
We all got our past-stained canvas
Let Christ ignite the state, city, and the campus
Cracked jars, life scars
Light shines in like a jail cell, bars

Faith ain't faith when they shake it up
Truth aside they'll say you made up
I ain't talking 'bout revoke without a cause
I ain't talking 'bout fulfillment from applause
Believer, just pause

Take a look at the gospel, good comes from the flaws
Basic, He erased it
We're nothing good on our own, face it
Divine truth please chase it
This the revolution 'til the end of my days kid

Me and my crew broken a clay pots for Christ to shine through,
What it do, boy, that's the rally
All across the earth Australia to Cali
Revelu, not about me not about you
Sky's no limit matter fact it's looking blue
Glow the dark with imperfect art
They say start fire, but there gotta spark

Revelu, gotta get it going verse two
I put the beat down black and blue
Purity, it's hard work
When the opposite of everything that is true is at lurk

You're on a Star Trek. No Captain Kirk
On a never ending search leave her hurt, vigil
Heart after heart that's the art
You start looking for a perfect individual
There's no where to end
The texts that you send broken hearts
Look 'em in the eye through a different lens

We got to come down
All we want in life, queen and king with the crown
Prince on a horse, find a sleeping beauty
Love 'em on the outside, "Man they a cutie"
Watch your motive, get gassed locomotive
You for long run? That's a load of
Love is beautiful, so true
But the revolution stops when you make it 'bout you.
Track Name: Blow Up [ft. Marie Williams]
Moment of surprise when I got the letter in
My mind at the time was to let her in
It was all a dream though
God, give me strength when I wake, let me breathe slow
Call it how I see it
Is she it?
Worry 'bout myself is how I treat it
Left in the cold, not the only one freezin'
Fire shine bright, I saw it, imma be it

Fire, get a lighter, fist in the air
Desire get the bridge going down I swear
When you burn a bridge ashes remain
I wanna blow it up, get rid of the stain
It's the pain, I don't want to cross back
Burden on the bridge with the TNT stacks
Blasts, celebration of my new life
Pray I do right tonight

I'm burnin’ bridges and no one's gonna stop me now
These decisions only seem to stop and slow me down

I need to blow up
I need to blow up

I feel like I never want to walk away
But I need a new start today
Burnin' bridges ain't enough for me
I need blow 'em up

Parallel lines in my mind
Love story seems changed every time
One of a kind, hard to define
Bridge blown but I say I'm just fine

Insane on the inside
I died, try to keep memories alive
I'm outsane on the outside
Deprived, when you take another from my side
Track Name: Man Down [ft. Cassidy Shaver]
I'm runnin' right now, block it out
I don't want to hear this town
Half of me gone to doubt
This one thing inside me says keep it all in
If your pressed, stress let it all go
Man down it's about to blow so

Don't get me started

Still living for the bridges I've blown
Thought I could do this all alone
Now old love is calling me home

It was a mistake once again
Messed up big once again
Forget all that drama, I'm all that much stronger
Battle my brain my heart won again

Now that I crossed that bridge
I want to go back to the life I lived
Said I would never but despite that I did
Sent me a letter I replied as a kid who understands the way of truth
Didn't want to let it play out in his youth
This is proof
I want to go off in a spacecraft without those around me
In love with the ties of those that bound me
Learning to fly without folks surround me
And those who found me when I fell
Are dropping like flies, oh well
It's hard to find that real
Thought I was made of steel 'til now

Don't get me started
Don't get me started
'Til my past has parted
I'm raising my flag I'm gone

Bring me home
If you don't I'll find a way
Remembering to forget
Trample these seeds that I've sown

Times that I recall, those days and nights
Remembering to forget, it makes it bite
Times that I recall, those days and nights
Remembering to forget, it makes it bite to make it by
Track Name: Lost Dreams [ft. Erin Halleran & Raquel Gonzalez]
I had to catch my breath when waking up from what I dreamt
A nightmare I tried to escape with only failed attempts
Maybe it was paradise this place that I was living
When all was love, no exchange, freely given

When they said I love you, they meant the words
They didn't back out, shut the door so hard it smashed fingers
Smashed their feelings, heck, but doesn't this sound absurd?
It sounds phenomenal but I can hear reality linger

Why would I be placed on this alternate of earth?
Or is this even a planet somewhere in the universe?
I feel dispersed like I don't know the direction of my home
This relaxation is soul-less, I feel mechanical like a drone

Now I'm alone, black out of time
Lost all of it's senses
Transported to another world where the colors have blended
I'm extended, the clock ticks but my time frame is now shattered
Commitment for a lifetime, promises gathered then tattered

I find myself sitting in a field filled with fake flowers
I could only assume because of the spotless way that they towered
None devoured, when I picked a few
without the soil of the ground they didn't even cower
Here come the showers

Drops of clear liquid sprinkled down from on high
I laid back for second, let my breath go with a sigh
But who am I to enjoy such a moment?
A woman appears by my side so beautiful and she owns it

The key to my heart right there strung right around her neck
I reached for her hand's touch, then suddenly stumbled as I hit the deck
I'm in a jail cell for sale that only my heart could unlock
But I gave that it to the woman as the hand spins around the clock

See, this commitment of love is the dream that I'm trapped in
The reality of life's stress was so painful and it was taxing
I'm asking, who's the greater man? Should I put on my mask again?
A whole another world that I'm wrapped in
It feels like I've just tapped in

Times that I recall
Pieces of my dreams seem hard to relate
In these lost dreams, I feel a king
Here we lost and found, feel it all go down
Times that I recall
Pieces of my dreams seem hard to relate
In these lost dreams I feel a king
Here we lost and found feel it all go down

In this place I was so lost

I had a dream and I got lost, so can you find me?
I don't understand this around me

Sat up in bed wiped the sweat off my forehead
If only I could pick up the dream like a book and have it read
It's like I had a television picture kept on moving but was that fuzz
As if I were looking in a mirror and saw myself for who I was
Track Name: INMYMINIVAN [Bonus Track]
I'm in my minivan let me catch you up to speed
Shout out to brother who sold me the deed
Lil' Dilly made the deal, advance to finals
Didn't dilly dally, Bron Bron got my first title

Sweating with no AC
Roll them windows in the car son, daily
Yeah it's hotter than Jamaica
I'm the stencil maker
Plus a black paint job, gave my girl some makeup

On the freeway, right lane going 50
Now I'm in the middle lane pushing up to 60
At high speeds acceleration takes a minute
Black and green honda swervin', you can't miss it

Ah think I'm out of fuel, I can't get it started
Remember not to pass the gas like somebody farted
Battery runnin' low, ask a stranger for a jump

Power charged turn the key, and the engine starts like
Yeah, ups and downs on the county roads
We seen it all, been through it all
When the fog hits we can't see the road ahead
We been through thick and thin speakers bumpin at that red light

In my minivan

Yeah, see her door's got its problems
It slides off the track and disconnects from the bottom
Someone shot my window, I'll get the screws
Got that diamond plate, shoot it now I dare you

Straight bangin' jams, out of my Honda Odyssey
Rollin down these streets
Bumping beats, it ain't odd to see
'Sicle roll through wit the crew dressed properly
Octagon only sign raised that be stoppin' me

(Turnup!)
Squeaky breaks when I roll up
When they they touch my tunes I tell that brotha “Hold up!”
Death do us part, we both said “I do”
But to be honest, she'll probably die before I do

I make well with what's provided
Monthly car payments is not what I've decided
Instead, I'll take a mini van and afford what I can
See me ridin' through, 116 that's the brand
Track Name: It's a Trap! [Bonus Track]
It's a Trap!